EXHALE [11/8/09]



Sometimes,


I wonder how eloquent a strand of hair,
softly dancing on the wind can be,
the quiet innocence of a grin in response
to nothing that has been said - and yet everything that has been implied.

Why is it that
we can no longer sense the sweet dew drops
on our finger tips
and reminisce?

The comfort of our closest friend's embrace,
the wind chimes of that little girl's laughter,
the rose among the weeds.

Have they all melted away into one disinteresting blur?


Too tantalizing and yet too time consuming to recall ---
though,
of course,
time must always be made to galvanize ourselves out of bed at the crack of dawn,
to mindlessly shuffle through our daily duties.

There's just no more incentive, they say,
to take time out of their day

to surround themselves
in lush grass,
To taste the heavy scent of the woods,
to spread your arms out wide at the top of a hill -
any hill, really-
And fuse your soul with the sun.


But I'm here,
like I always will be,
planting my heels deep into the soil of childhood,
deep into the soil of so called less important things in life.

But can't you see?

If his mind rattles within its cage at night-
begging for release,
silently screaming for just ONE exhale,
just ONE moment to unwind-


So, take him by the wrist-
with kindness, dear, only with kindness-
and take him to the shore,

where the seagulls beckon him closer,
and the waves pull him in.





OMISSION [8/14/09]

Head spinning and throbbing on a perpetual racetrack
Eyes hollowed and sore; staring blankly
Clock ticking life away incessantly
Solving something temporarily and yet nothing at all
Superficial thank you and pat on the back
Good night kiss devoid of emotion
Like a stone wall implanted in you
Useless grasping
Like getting smacked in the face with a belt
And coming back for more…
Feeling the initial sting and the lasting scar
The pair so similar and yet so horridly separate
Wicked grin and dripping venom
Little inflections and slip of tongue
Nothing ever meant nor falsified
Meaning nothing at all…
Yet, everything.

OVERLOAD [7/20/09]


This restlessness, this dissatisfaction--succumb to the Silence.
A vacuous mind 
is simply a diversion 
from what matters most.

An emotionless stare at the blinding screen 
cannot soothe my fermenting stomach.
I’m stuck in a psychological field of potholes; 
forced to step over any internal dilemma.

It’s the dull ringing in the back of my mind.
A drone that deafens me and yet clarifies what I already know.

I am but a single leaf, in the end. 
Forced to be alone with my unclassifiable emotions.

An elderly woman and an energetic child do not make an aesthetically pleasing couple. 
Neither do my riotous body and befuddled mind.
No eloquent expression remains untold for now.

[Besides one realization…]

In solitude, we discover what lies beneath these jubilant facades.
In numbers, time will never halt to allow us one moment for self-searching.
Through brief periods of desolation the bitter truth unravels.

But I realize the catalyst now.
There is a ravenous need for approval beneath my skin.
Not just from others – whose acceptance is always pleasant- but from myself.

The self-deprecation is ceaseless.
The morning will result in the suffocation of my negative reality.
I’m desperate for a companion.
Release me from my nightly chains…

R.I.P [6/19/09]

The sirens used to wail in the distance –
I would never pay any attention to it.
But on that night they must have shrieked in persistence.
There’s no way the passing of Mr. Edward Martin could have gone unnoticed;
Unheard of…He was the king of Lit.

JOURNEY TO SLEEP [12/22/08]


It’s the release of tension in your shoulders and back as your mind settles in the dark.
It’s the satisfaction of completing another day.
It’s the hushed voices your parents use in the living room as you lay your head down to rest.
It’s the feel of your soft and warm cat closely purring by your side.
It’s the moment of silence and complete peace as your eyelids get heavier.
It’s the feeling of warmth as you wrap yourself in your sheets.
It’s the journey to sleep.

WOULD YOU CALL IT A FRIENDSHIP? [12/22/08]

Beware; beware of the blank and emotionless stare.
It’s the symbol of a friendship long gone.
And a conversation that seems well past done.
Too tall is the wall between you and I.

Respectable is your determination ‘to make things work’
But the falseness of it all is driving me berserk.
You say this is something you can amend, but I know empty apologies are the new trend.
And it feels like all I truly ever talk to is your silhouette.
But your smile is not something I can easily forget.

And the ambiguity of my emotions returns, seeing as reminiscing on the past simply burns.
“Let’s just go back to the way things were,” you say.
But I’ll never be able to forget that day.

So now I’m stuck being your imaginary friend, wondering if having to lie to myself will ever end.
What is it I’m looking for in someone that I can so easily abhor?

Maybe it is a test, to observe how quickly my heart could shred in my chest.
Because denying the fact that I don’t care for you is parallel to lying.
Or maybe it’s the shame of trying to forget something I so deeply regret?

You’ve slammed the door on many of my feelings several times before.
And you don’t seem to understand that your second chance lies in the palm of my hand.
You are no longer my innocent dove. Simply the misplaced glove.

You’ve pushed me too far it seems, with your antics and unrealistic dreams.
I remain torn as I wonder if it’s possible for friendship to be reborn.
For now, I’ll tread on the line; wondering if honesty between you and I will ever be mine.