IN CASE OF EMERGENCY by Nicole Barth [1/5/10]

If you're reading this poem, I think it's safe to say my life needs saving.

Let's start off with the basics:

If the world is crashing down on my shoulders,

turn to page 54 in the handbook and proceed to hug me tightly...

If I complain, hug me tighter.

I passed out?

You must have tied a ribbon around a horse and promised me

it was mine.

Page 75 says you should have known better...

Tell me my hair is on fire and I'll snap out of it.

Apparently I'm starving to death-

chocolate revives anyone, don't you know that?

In case I wish I were actually dead,

proceed to pull inflatable object from under your seat

and inflate my ego with the pump provided.

But if it really is too late-

and I've predictably failed to solve the geometric

proof as to why Dumbledore and Oompa Loompas would be best friends

while being held at gunpoint-

then I suppose there are a few things you should know...

I should have snuck out of the house at least once...

I've tried to be the best person I could be,

fix my tattered and rather complex relationship with my mother,

be there for my brother when he needs me the most,

act responsibly for my father,

work hard to achieve my goals-

but most of all to always help the people I love.

And if I've failed to brighten your day,

then -

please-

take every last piece of my smile,

every wind chime from my laughter

until there is nothing left of me.